Crumby Week

This past week was rough. Its just one of those weeks when everything seems so f***ed up. A snap-shot of this week:

Monday and Tuesday: I didn't have work, so i helped out at the clubhouse (the day treatment place I've been going to the past several months). It was okay; I enjoy hanging out there and helping in their kitchen. The thing I don't like is the way other people boss me around and expect me to do everything for them. Get off your ass and do it yourself. I'm already working on 10 different tasks! Its so stupid. I just get frustrated, because the staff asks me to do something and while I'm working on it, members feel they can give me more task. And I do everything I can to not scream at them. I'm a total bitch for saying this, but: I know I'm held to hire standards, but I still have a limit of how much I can handle. So that whole situation got me worked up.

Wednesday: I had work, but was kind of in a blah mood. I felt homesick all day- I'm still feeling homesick! I just really miss my adoptive family and my friends and I just wanna visit VA soon. That evening, I laid down to go to bed, and started crying. It sucks to try so hard to hold it together, and feel so unworthy of love. Lately, I've been trying to stay upbeat and positive; it's been really hard, though. I really miss my family and feel kinda lonely. My friends that live in the same apartment complex as me have been helping me out a lot, just by being there. It's nice to have friends that I can see everyday.

Thursday: I was feeling down and kinda agitated. I've been very annoyed with people. Its like I'm on edge and just bout to explode. I don't want to, but every time, someone does something wrong or says something I disagree with, I wanna snap at them and make sure they know their wrong. I shouldn't and I know that; I try not to let my frustration with people show, but it generally does.

Friday: It was one of those days where I really just wanted to give up. I was sad because I probably won't see my family til next summer. I was frustrated with stuff going on in my mind. And so tired of being around idiots! In the evening I hung out with some friends at Walmart. I know that sounds dumb, but it was fun. They made me laugh, which is good, and it was just nice to spend time with fun people. Afterwards, I hung out with my neighborhood friends.

When I first started typing I was gonna bitch about how miserable I am and done with all this BS- and I sorta did. But while typing I realized that I'm making it through, because my friends have been there for me so much!