The last couple of weeks have thrown me lots of challenges. I've been really nervous about work and stressed about everything. My anxiety has been really high and I've had a few panic attacks, but whatever.
Work was shit last week. I got bitched at by some others at work and really wanted to quit, because I felt like I was being pushed over the edge. A coworker, who is always bossing people around and getting into others' business, was really on my case for a couple of days. It took absolutely all my strength to not bitch-slap her. And then I was getting fussed at, because I don't keep things organized. Which is total BS. It frustrates me, because I'm sadly the most organized person that probably works there. Anyways, it was a really bad week; my friends were pretty supportive. They let me vent and kind of encouraged me to keep going.
I finally started to calm down Saturday, but then some A-hole went through my laundry while it was in the wash and stole my hamper. Who the hell does that? I made a complaint with the apartment manager-person. I was so fucking pissed. Okay, sorry for all the cursing- I'm still pretty pissed about it. Life can be so full of BS.
I wanted to complain about all this nonsense, but also wanted to update about recovery. So, it's been about 2 months since my last therapy session. I had to stop DBT group when I started work, but I was way ahead of everyone else in the group, anyways. I canceled my last individual session and never called to reschedule. I don't really know if I should. Well, I guess eventually I'll have to go back, seeing I'm court-ordered. By the way, court-ordered means nothing at all. I was told I'd get in trouble for not going once a month, but it's been two and the court hasn't called me yet! Anyways, I don't really see the point in going back. The therapist is kinda worthless and i don't actually talk to her when I go. I have a med check in a month- which is even more pointless than therapy. I don't really trust opinion on medications. All the current meds have done is make me fat! Needless to say, I'm gonna tell her that I'm not continuing them. Other than my lack of confidence in my treatment team, recovery is going great. I'm fat, which is progress in this screwed up system. My anxiety goes up and down. I went like 8 months without cutting. And I haven't tried to kill myself in almost 10 months.
No comments:
Post a Comment