Loneliness

Sorry, I haven't blogged in awhile; I've been really depressed and feeling alone and disconnected. Its been a hard couple of weeks. I'm still recovering from all the chaos of my mom's family visiting and I'm struggling to feel like I belong anywhere. I'm so alone and feel so empty inside. I'm trying to take care of myself, but its so hard.

On Thursday, I OD-ed in the middle of the night. I didn't go to the ER or anything. I'm fine. No pain. I threw up what I had taken. I throw up pretty much everything lately. I hate being the way I am. But I also don't want it to stop.

Tonight, I'm freaking out, because I was supposed to have therapy tomorrow, but my therapist rescheduled for Friday. And we're not even gonna meet in person. Ugh, I'm so anxious about this week. It's been so hard to not participate in behaviors. I feel so screwed up, lately, and like I have no one. My mom's trying really hard to be there for me. I miss my bio-mom- I wish she was here for me.