I don't even know what to say, right now. I feel like crap and no body wants me around. My mom and dad cancelled their date, because of me. My little brothers hate me, and treat me like I'm less than them. I'm a burden on everyone. And I just don't wanna fight anymore. It sucks, because I'm trying to do everything right and I'm keep f***ing it up. I dunno if I should even go to therapy today. What's the point? She can't fix the fact that I'm a burden on everyone and no one wants me around.
A few days ago, we were driving over a bridge and all I wanted to do was jump off that bridge. Last night, my urges to OD were so strong. How much longer can I go without OD-ing or cutting? I'm not okay, and everyone keeps saying it'll get better. But it's not gonna get better, as long as I'm here. I've screwed up so many things. And I can't keep going like this. I don't wanna keep going. I'm at the end of my line. What do I have to do to make everyone happy?
I'm so sorry you feel so awful :( I know what it's like to feel like a burden. My last mental health nurse actually told me straight up that my mum must be tired of me, and that she would be if she was my mum - this was only our second appointment! It definitely did not help with the feeling of being a burden.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know you feel bad about it, but from what you've posted, I think your parents cancelled because they were worried for you and wanted to make sure you were safe. They obviously care about you, and it doesn't sound like they don't want you around. If they did, they would've just gone out without a care, regardless of the risk it posed to you.
<3
xx