So it's true. I have relapsed with my ED. I have lost some weight and am continuing to lose weight. Am I planning on getting better? I dunno. It's hard for me to say. I feel like I wanna continue to lose weight, even though I know it's bad for me. Right now, I'm at a 16 BMI and would like to be at a 13 BMI. I logically realize how low that is and I realize that it's not healthy and medically not sustainable. But my ED mind tells me that I can get by with a 13 BMI; it says I could probably get by with a lower BMI.
So I haven't blogged in a long time. And I dunno if now is the right time to start blogging again, but this is where I am. I'm struggling with restricting, b/p-ing (binging and purging), and laxative use. I'll try to keep you up to date with where I am and how I'm doing- whether it be losing more weight or going into recovery. But as of right now, it looks like I'm gonna continue down the road I'm on.
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