Accepting that I need treatment

I don't know if I'm just giving up on the diet or if I'm really accepting that it's time for recovery. Probably just giving up on the diet, seeing I took another handful of laxatives today. I feel more positive today than I have in awhile, so I started a recovery journal with some encouraging bible verses and such on the first couple of pages. I also asked my friends for some ideas on books and devotionals to read while in treatment. I think maybe I can get my life together and start eating healthy...maybe? And maybe eventually give up the laxatives. I'm still nervous about so many things and so many situations I'm gonna have to face in treatment and in recovery. I don't know how long it'll be before I relapse again, but I'll give it a go. My brother and sister are being so encouraging and supportive; I love having them by myself and don't think I'd even be able to make this decision without them. My adoptive mom is being amazingly supportive too and I just feel so lucky to have the family I do- even if they're not all blood-related. And reaching out to my friends on social media has gotten a great response and I've received a lot of really great support. I feel so loved and encouraged today, despite the way my bf is treating me. I realize its not his fault, but it's hurtful and I can only take so much before I break. Luckily, I have other friends and family holding me together.