I feel like I'm standing in an empty, dead field. No trees, no grass, no blue sky. Everything's just dead and empty. Soul-less. I'm all alone with no where to run. No escape. I try to scream and there's no sound to be heard. I'm stuck in the middle of this emptiness, alone with no hope- just devastation. I pray and I cry tears that seem to never fall. My spirit is breaking and my heart is growing weak. I just want out. I pray to God, the only one who can save me. But does he hear me? Does he hear my cries?
Feeling a little hopeless today. Struggling to pick myself up. And having to make difficult decisions. I'm waiting for the phone call, letting me know when to go to the ED clinic. I dunno if I'm going; maybe insurance didn't authorize it. And I'm just gonna have to fight this on my own. I don't wanna fight. I wanna give in. I want the illness or whatever this is to consume me. Stop all the pain and take away what's left of my spirit. Then I truly will have nothing to lose. I won't care. I won't get hurt. It won't matter anymore. Eventually, I will be nothing but a faint memory in the minds of those who might of cared.
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