Insurance Authorized Treatment

I got the phone call, yesterday, letting me know that my insurance has authorized my treatment at the eating disorder clinic! I'm nervous about going and anxious; everyone else is excited- a little too excited. I dunno if their excited that I'll be gone for who knows how long, or if they're actually excited that I'm getting help. Either way, I wish they would calm it down a little. Their excitement makes me more anxious, which kinda makes me not wanna go at all. I'm trying to remain in good spirits- yeah right. Me in good spirits- never. But I have been praying to God for the patience I need to cope with my friends' excitement and overjoy, the strength to get through treatment and maybe even start a journey of recovery, and guidance to know what I'm doing. So far, he's opened doors for me to go to treatment, so I guess I need to pursue that despite my anxiety and fears, and the extra stress of getting there. I'm taking deep breaths.

In preparation for going to treatment, I'm supposed to be taking less migraine meds. Its not going so well. I had a migraine the other day. I'm still taking my migraine meds once a day. I know its gonna make that first week of treatment so much harder, but I just really can't go without them. It's not fair to my friends or family, either. I've also been trying to cut back on caffeine- not going well either. Its hard. I'm so used to having coffee or coke zero throughout my day. Without it, I feel so exhausted and weak. So I've continued to have caffeine. I did good for a few days, but then I start drinking coffee again.

So, Monday, I'll get told when to go to the clinic- Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm still taking way too many laxatives, but at least, I've gained a little weight. And in treatment, I'll get fat. Won't everyone be so happy and causing me more anxiety?!?!