This past weekend, my sister and her family came to visit. The visit was pretty good. I learned my sister needed me to talk to her and be there for her more. And she learned its hard for me to speak up and interact when there's a lot of people around and a lot of commotion. And there was a lot going on this weekend. My extroverted 8 year old brother was stealing the spotlight. He talks so much and my sister's husband is fairly extrovert; so they got along great. It was impossible for me to get any words in.
So Saturday, my sister and I went to Barnes and Noble. It was nice. I found some awesome journals and a really hard puzzle- all of it was 50% off!! Good bargain shopping! Then we sat down for some tea and cookies. I actually allowed myself to eat a cookie! I allowed myself to eat a lot this weekend. I feel like I've gained a hundred pounds. Anyways, on Sunday, my sister and I had lunch together, just us and her baby. I love spending time with her- just one-on-one time. I miss her already.
Anyways, today I had therapy. Normally, its on Thursdays, but my therapist is gonna be out of town this Thursday. We talked about picking one time a day to mindfully worry. The rest of the day put my worries away. I dunno how well its gonna work, but I'm trying. We also talked about practicing staying home alone. My parents don't leave me home alone, because I OD-ed last time. I understand their concerns. I'm nervous about staying home alone, but I'm an adult and someday, I'm gonna be living independently again; I need to practice independence skills.
My mom also wants a friend to come stay with me on Friday, while her and my dad are on a date. I'm nervous about asking anyone. But I'm trying to get past that fear and just ask. We'll be babysitting my brothers and putting them to bed. After that we're free to watch a movie or play a game or puzzle. How do I ask someone to come over without being awkward? I feel so awkward around my new friends as it is. I'm not supposed to be worrying right now. So we'll just put it on a shelf and save it for later.
I'm super awkward about asking people over. It should be so simple! I usually try to strike up a 'how have you been'/'what's new' conversation, then ask if they're free to catch up. If it's someone you feel you can be open with, maybe even tell them straight-up that your parents will be out and you don't want to be home alone. I've done that a couple of times.
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